Dear Sensitive Soul,

How are you? I've had an interesting month, to say the least. Last week, when a friend couldn't use the tickets, I made a last-minute decision to see "Stories from Jonestown: The People's Temple" at the Berkeley Repertory Theater. I hesitated because I thought that I might feel overwhelmed by the tragic story. Instead, I found it to be highly thought provoking. I truly learned about human nature.

I also had the opportunity to experience "an evening of acoustical mayhem" with The Waybacks, a great folk music band, at the Berkeley Freight & Salvage Coffee House. What gifts are to be found the arts! For all you artistic sensitive souls out there: Please keep touching our hearts, minds, and spirits with your creative genius.

This month I've answered some questions fielded from sensitive souls. Hopefully you'll find answers to some of your questions here too. These and other questions will be posted online on my new weblog. If you're interested in more frequent thoughts and updates from me, please consider subscribing to my blog. It's a great way to stay in touch at your own pace, and outside the confines of e-mail delivery challenges! If you're saying to yourself, "What's a blog and how do I subscribe?" there are details here.

Also, if you've been awaiting a still-point inducer, they are now available on my website. These are invaluable for calming an overloaded nervous system.

Warmly,
Jenna

Feature Article
Q & A

Questions from sensitives come fast and furious these days. I can't answer them all, but I hope to touch on some key points periodically in this e-zine.

~ How can I find other highly sensitive souls? ~

There are many ways to find and connect with other sensitive souls. For instance, there are online discussion boards and groups that can help you connect with other sensitives virtually or in person. For instance, you might participate in a TeleClass or TeleGathering, join an online discussion group, or attend an in-person meeting, support group, workshop, or other event for sensitives. I've posted a great deal of information about how to get involved in these sorts of things on my blog.

You might also consider looking for sensitives in your local area. (Unfortunately, I do not have a list of groups in areas outside Berkeley or New York. If you know of any, please let me know.) How? It's easy! Where would you find yourself? Consider also these ideas: an art class, a hiking club, a dowser's meeting, a psychic school, a sensitive's workshop (see the sidebar), a feng shui class, a personal exploration or discovery workshop, a museum, a library, a bookstore, a yoga class, a folk music event, etc.

There are more details here: ->

~ Are all sensitives such perfectionists like me? ~

Elaine Aron wrote about the tendency of sensitives to be perfectionists in the August 2004 issue of Comfort Zone Online (http://www.hsperson.com/pages/edAug04.htm). She points out that we lean in that direction for two reasons: 1) Because we have learned to avoid unpleasant surprises by doing things perfectly; and 2) Because we can envision how things can be done perfectly and aim for that.

Remember that because you have such high standards, others will likely consider what you consider "just okay" to be outstanding. Learn to judge things as "good enough" and let them go, particularly when it means making a choice for your own wellbeing and sanity. Other strategies you might consider are setting time limits for projects, and thinking of your efforts as "experiments" that you can adjust next time. You might also consider the concept that you are a whole, perfect, and complete spiritual being, here having a human experience. This means that it's OK to make mistakes, have fun, and get messy. With an eye on a greater view of wholeness, I take great delight in the idea that I can't get it wrong and I'll never get it done. This means I have my whole life to play, experiment, enjoy, experience, and explore.


~ Do all sensitives put things off the way I do? ~

As noted, many sensitives are perfectionists. This means that you're likely to fear getting things wrong. This can make it hard to start anything. It can seem safer to wait indefinitely rather than suffer the discomfort of doing it imperfectly. This is a huge trap, and it can be particularly detrimental when you end up working yourself into a lather trying to finish something at the last minute, all the while lashing yourself for doing such a bad job. The trip to the land of stimulation overload gets short, fast. This is one of those places where it's better to be smarter than your ingrained habits. You might want to try scheduling time for the projects you want to work on, well in advance of their due date.

Another reason for procrastination is that many sensitives are drawn to variety and exploration. This can mean that it's hard to commit to one thing because it can feel like saying no to something else. Consider instead the notion that you are just doing one thing at a time.

Here's a third reason: Many sensitives are averse to deadlines. This means that when you know there's a deadline coming, you'll find almost any excuse you can to escape it, because you know the pressure is so uncomfortable. The sad part is that it ultimately makes it that pressure worse when you do it at the last minute. Here again, planning ahead and working proactively is of huge benefit, if a radical mind-shift, for our reactive society. Steven Covey has some great advice about learning to focus your energy on what's important but not urgent, so that you don't end up in urgency overdrive through procrastination. There's some solid wisdom there. I recommend his books First Things First and Seven Habits of the Highly Effective Person.

On the other hand, I used to give myself a hard time for being a huge procrastinator, and I still do procrastinate from time to time. But I've reframed my thinking to include the idea that I do things when they are ready to be done. That cleaning my office is a way of clearing my mind and energy field to get ready to get to work. That taking the time I need is a form of self-care. I also find that now that I'm doing work I love, it's much easier to do the work I need to do in a timely fashion, at the right time, when it is ready to be done. I do this by leaving large chunks of unscheduled time on my calendar, by limiting the number of things I say "yes" to, and by always knowing that I am ultimately the one who can change my "deadline" if I have to.

One great resource on this topic is The Procrastinator's Handbook by Rita Emmett. This is a terrific book that explains lots of little mind-shifts and tricks to overcome procrastination.

I hope these answers help!

Do You Have Questions?

In addition to coaching, I also offer one-time personalized e-mail or telephone consultations on issues related to being highly sensitive in a less than sensitive world. If you have questions about how to deal with specific issues related to your sensitivity, like how to protect yourself empathically or how to deal with overstimulation fast and effectively, please register for a consultation.

Telephone consultations: ->
E-mail consultations: ->

Embrace Your Essential Self Through Coaching

If you're ready to find a deep sense of inner rightness and acceptance of yourself and your sensitivity, call me at 510.528.1696 to schedule a complimentary half-hour phone consultation. I have one space open in my practice. So if you've been putting off giving me a call, now's the time.

Here's what one client recently had to say about working with me through my Essential Self program:

"It was a great pleasure to work with Jenna and share myself, while gaining a greater perspective on who I am and what I can do. She helped me discover my core values and true power, something I really never considered before. . . . I can’t put it into words, but it was great, so awesome, amazing. Nothing else like it in my life. I really was stunned at what a few simple words could do for me. It was a real confidence booster and gave me a greater sense of security. Jenna's work is well worth it!" -- J.S., Davis, California

The program: ->

 

Sensitive Living
May 2005
Contents

feature article

do you have questions?

embrace your
essential self

upcoming events

web site resources

other events

on my nightstand

tips for
sensitive souls

 

Upcoming Events

Monday, May 2 & 16
4:30 p.m. PDT

Berkeley Sensitive Souls Walking Group


Thursday , May 19
11 a.m. PDT

TeleGathering for Sensitive Souls
A free gathering with like-minded souls.
Third Thursdays of the month.
Sign up
for details and announcements.


Thursday, June 16
4 p.m. PDT

TeleGathering for Sensitive Souls


Monday, June 20
2 p.m. PDT

Talk at Elephant Pharmacy
1607 Shattuck Avenue
Berkeley, California

 

 

Web Site Resources

The Embrace Your Essential Self Program

Other Services

Five-Star Products for Sensitive Souls

Resources

Recommended Reads

Articles

Calendar of Events

Centering for
Sensitive Souls

 

Other Events

Elaine Aron
at Esalen

The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive in a Not-So-Sensitive World
May 20 to 22, 2005: Esalen, Big Sur, California

Elaine Aron
at Omega
Rhinebeck Campus

The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive in a Not-So-Sensitive World
Sept. 23 to 25, 2005: Omega Institute, New York

 

On My Nightstand
Empowered by Empathy

I'm currently reading and greatly enjoying Empowered by Empathy: 25 Ways to Fly in Spirit, by Rose Rosetree. It's my belief that many, if not all, sensitives are extremely empathic. I'm constantly seeking new and useful ways of learning to work with our empathic gifts. So far, I'm finding Rose's book to be intriguing and filled with eminently usable energy skills and techniques for learning to turn empathy on and off. I'll report back more, once I've had time to experiment with these techniques myself. In the meantime, if you're interested in exploring on your own, check it out. I'd love to know what you thin

 

Tips for
Sensitive Souls
Great Products

I sell two great products for sensitive souls -- still-point inducers and grounding and protection necklaces.

~ Still-Point Inducers ~

As I mentioned, I now have still-pointers back in stock. So if you've been waiting for one, now's your chance! If I'm feeling anxious or overstimulated, these little devices have the ability to bring me back to a calm state within minutes.

Still-pointers: ->

 

~ Grounding and Protection Necklaces ~

The necklaces are made with special crystals recommended by Sonia Choquette to help block out other people's energies. Here's a note from recent customer:

"I now have my still-pointer and my necklace. I love both but especially the necklace. . . . I wore it in crowd settings and had much less fatigue and 'yucks' afterward. It works. I'd recommend it to anyone. And it looks nice, too!" -- K.C., Tampa, Florida

Necklaces: ->

 

Thanks for reading!

You let me know that you wanted to receive The Art of Sensitive Living e-zine by signing up on my website. The e-zine is delivered on the first Friday of each month. Occasionally, you may receive other announcements from me about other work I'm doing that I think may interest you.

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Other mailing lists you may be interested in:
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TeleGathering Sign Up
Berkeley Sensitive Souls Walking Group