Dear Sensitive Soul,

Guess what? I'm writing to you from my new home office! As you may have heard, my partner Jim and I are new homeowners, which is terrifying and exciting all at once. I've posted some pictures here and a note about it on my blog. We are settling in, slowly but surely.

June was a whirlwind. We took a vacation to celebrate Jim's 50th birthday, while our home was in escrow. We ran into car trouble. We went to Disneyland. (Yes, an HSP at Disneyland!) We finalized escrow details and closed. We moved. We started unpacking. Our kitty Maddie decided to try being a second-floor escape artist. I fretted and prayed all day until we found her. I have been devastated over the loss of a close family friend to cancer last week. The highs and lows have been higher and lower lately. I keep thinking of a list of major stressors that I saw once. I know that the death of a loved one and moving are at the top of the list. June was quite a month, both good and bad.

Needless to say, I'm somewhat behind on some of the projects I've been telling you about, but I'll be getting to them as things settle down. I am pleased to tell you, however, that the Sensitive Professionals Network is up and running. This is a place for highly sensitive professionals to promote our work and receive support in the world of work. Check it out at http://www.sensitiveprofessionals.com and look for a special announcement about it next week.

I'm also glad to announce my newest TeleClass, Space Clearing for Sensitive Souls. In this class you can learn to energetically clear your physical spaces of mucky and stagnant energy. We meet July 13. I'd love to see you there.

Warmly,
Jenna

Feature Article
Your Questions, Answered (Part 2)

Given recent events, I thought I'd take some time again to answer more of the questions you've been posting on my blog, rather than trying to be original. The questions have been edited for brevity and clarity; they can be read in their entirety on the Your Biggest Questions pages on the blog. Many of the questions are about valuing our sensitivity.

 

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On June 16, 2006, Pauline asked: "How do I survive in a world where my sensitivity does not seem to be understood or valued? I feel constantly hurt and misunderstood."


Dear Pauline,

I find that our culture does not generally value high sensitivity. However, the key is learning to shift your perspective from an outward focus to an inner one. When you learn to understand and appreciate your sensitivity so deeply that you have no doubts about its value, I suspect you will find fewer incidences in the world of invalidation. I also believe that in order to shift the cultural bias against high sensitivity, it will start with us claiming our power, truth, and strength. See more on this subject in my subsequent answers to other readers.

Warmly,
Jenna


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On May 24, 2006, Barbara asked: "In 'The Highly Sensitive Person,' Dr. Elaine Aron says we 'may have to overcome a certain lack of focus. If your creativity and intuition give you a million ideas, at some point, early, you will have to let most of them go, and you will have to make all kinds of difficult decisions.' The 'difficult decisions' are what I avoid. I am 60 years old and have learned to cope with the downside of sensitivity, but would like to enjoy the value of it. I firmly believe I need to learn the value of it in my bones. I have been a certified life coach for about five years, but with a client base that would be unsustainable without other income. I love the coaching and want more clients, but am pretty stuck about the reality of a viable business and, of course, marketing aspects."


Dear Barbara,

In your note I see you asking three questions:

1) How can I cope with having a million ideas?
2) How can I value being highly sensitive?
3) How can I deal with marketing as a highly sensitive person?

First, like you, I also have a million ideas. And sometimes my visions get ahead of me. The way I focus my efforts is to encourage myself to choose my projects in support of my current vision. In other words, although I've had lots of ideas for other business ventures, I choose to focus my efforts in the realm of high sensitivity where I'm already established. I also keep lists of my ideas for the future, and I rely on two things to help me choose: 1) My intuition and my energy pulls me in my next best direction, and 2) I choose what to work on "next." That perspective gives me the freedom and space to know that I will get to the other projects later on, one thing at a time.

Second, about valuing being highly sensitive, I encourage you to take a look at my articles, "What's So Great About Being Highly Sensitive, Anyway?" and "Sensitive Souls Have the SPICE of Life." These two articles point to some of the valuable gifts that come along with the trait of high sensitivity. I believe that as we begin to develop, use, and appreciate these gifts, life flows much more easily. And once that happens, it's hard not to value it.

Third, regarding marketing and business, I want to encourage you to consider joining the Sensitive Professionals Network. I am striving to create a place where people can come together and receive support, guidance, ideas, and information about creating viable businesses. I'll be sharing articles there about what's worked for me, and inviting members to do the same. I would also encourage you to focus on marketing efforts you enjoy. For me that's writing, developing web-based information and support, and teaching small classes.

Warmly,
Jenna

 

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On June 16, 2006, Nemo asked: "It is hard to know what my talents are. As an HSP, my talents are not the usual. I am not decisive, a hard-worker (able to work overtime), a team player (prefer to work alone), or have a neat desk. So what are my talents, my offerings to the world of work? The few talents that I do have -- e.g. patience, conscientiousness, etc. -- I don’t feel really count, because they come easily and naturally to an HSP. So how do I learn to value these [talents] instead of dismissing them?"


Dear Nemo,

I see two aspects to your question -- one is about your own innate talents and the other is about the talents that come along with being an HSP. Regardless, you mention that they come naturally and so you don't value them. First, I want to encourage you to explore the same articles I mentioned to Barbara, above. Second, it's easy to forget how amazing we each are when we are so accustomed to ourselves. A big part of what I do as a coach is help people reconnect to how truly magnificent they are. I would encourage you to carefully explore your talents -- make a list of them and objectively think about what makes them valuable, as if you were considering them from an outsider's perspective. I suspect this will help you find another way of looking at your talents. If you'd like some questions to get you started thinking about your innate talents, take a look at my article on "Finding Your Unique Niche" from June 2006.

Warmly,
Jenna

Quick Hits

On May 16, 2006, Michelle asked: "How can we know when an intuition is from your soul or whether what you are feeling or thinking is intuition comes from fear, ego, picking up from others, or outside?"

Michelle, my essential answer to your question is that we can learn to tell the difference with practice and discernment. Check out Sonia Choquette's books and my Intuitive Development class for more answers on this topic. ~Jenna

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On May 18, 2006, Arturo asked: "Can two highly sensitive people can have a healthy, loving, and intimate relationship regardless of their ability to manage their sensitivity?"

Arturo, I believe that highly sensitive people will have a hard time being happy with themselves and their lives until they learn to work with their sensitivity rather than against it. And I believe that having a healthy and happy relationship is contingent upon having a healthy, happy relationship with ourselves. So my answer is that it could be a whole lot better if they learn to "manage" their sensitivity. ~Jenna

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On May 25, 2006, Ronaye asked: "There has been an emotional release over the past few days after I've read the website on 'sensitive people.' This is touching a core space in me. I have discovered 'me' locked up in a world of the unknown, scared that no one will understand. I have been awakened. My question: Where do I go from here?

Ronaye, take a look at my article called Are You A Highly Sensitive Newbie?. The article suggests simple steps to take to begin to integrate your new awareness into your life. ~Jenna

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On July 2, 2006, Elaine asked: "How can I shield appropriately? I’ve tried all types of techniques over the years, but when someone is really irritated or angry with me because they are not getting what they want from me, I can feel it and it feels awful."

Elaine, I have also tried many techniques and found my solution in a combination of techniques and self-knowledge that I teach others through my Embrace Your Essential Self program and my Sensitive Souls TeleClass series. I have a shielding technique that I have found highly successful. However, I think of shielding as "training wheels." The long-term solution is getting extremely clear within yourself and who you are so that other people's energy flows right by without you getting enmeshed in it. My program and my classes will help you find your way to that place. ~Jenna

Do you want your questions answered? Jenna responds to questions on her blog and in this e-zine when she can. Post your questions on the blog here and Jenna will periodically answer a few selected items. Or, if you'd like a personal or e-mail consultation with Jenna, sign up on her website here.
 
 

The Art of
Sensitive Living
July 2006 Contents

Upcoming Events

 

July

Space Clearing
for Sensitive Souls

Thursday, July 13
4:30 to 6 p.m. PDT

Sensitive Souls
TeleClass Series
$45

TeleGathering
for Sensitive Souls

Thursday, July 20
4:30 to 5:30 p.m. PDT

TeleClass, F.r.e.e.

 

August

Intuitive Development
for Sensitive Souls

Thursday, August 10
4:30 to 6 p.m. PDT

Sensitive Souls
TeleClass Series
$45

Advanced Energy Skills
for Sensitive Souls

Thursday, August 24
4:30 to 6 p.m. PDT

Sensitive Souls
TeleClass Series
$45

 

More upcoming classes and events on my website here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading!

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